in 2024... I had everything...2025 god helped me... thanks God. it ain't over yet. this is just the beginning.

In 2024. I had everything. I lived down the block from my kids. I had a home. I had conquered homelessness. I had a sweet routine. I lived alone in my one bedroom apartment. I had a healthy sex life. Every now and then I went out and had fun. Addiction was the issue. Until I let one wrong person in to my home. 

Lesson learned. I wouldn't do that again.

Got burned big time. The friend I let in ate up my food. Turned my home and life in to a struggle. 

Mid-2024... My cousin related to me through an uncles marraige asked me to move in with him to escape my then crumbling home because of ex roommates bad energies left behind. 

I agreed to move in with him.

In mid 2024. Months were going good. I was handling my addiction. Well maintaining a home. Staying to myself. Cousin asked me to start dating again because he was tired of seeing me being alone in the room all the time. 

I met someone special. Or I thought was special. She made me happy. But it seemed like no one wanted to see us happy together. I fell in love with her....I ignored her red flags... I thought she had accepted my past... I thought she was the one. 

We stuck together knee to hip... But bad things started to happen...I later found out she gave my banking information to someone else. Some deposited a blank cheque into my account. I had to go deal with. She got me a gift for my birthday. That later disappeared and no one admitted to anything about it. Then we ended up homeless.

A series set of unfortunate events started to happen... She started bringing around her family. we started to fall into addiction 

Addiction was destroying our love. Our commitment for one another. 

Everything started to feel like a plot. 

Her male friends started to look like lovers. 

I couldn't stand it anymore. 

My love for this woman was fading because others were showing signs of similar intimate actions.

We conquered homelessness together. I was hoping that with this incredible accomplishment we would live out our dreams has a couple.

It didn't turn out to be like that.

It turned into a nightmare.

Addiction everyday. 

People over everyday.

Our home now turned into a refuge for taking in people who didn't have anywhere to go.

I felt powerless in my own home like I did in first part of 2024. 

I couldn't have a say.

Now we were fighting. 

Arguing no physical fights. Verbal disagreements.

Things started not to add up

The woman I fell in love with who lied to me she was like me was not who she was set to be or she exactly is. 

On the week of December 23-26th.... We did our thing. I made my promise that I was going to leave before new years eve to pursue my own life... She said she was going to leave and let me be....

December 26th 2024 

Was the final night I walked her to the bus..... I knew that was going to be the last time I seen her. I knew right there and then. My heart shattered. Broken to bits and pieces.

I got home...I started randomly playing music...

I started randomly researching for ways I could save and salvage it....

We argued online. And I saw she wasn't going to return. 

My final words were to you got 24 hrs to return home if your not home I am gone.

I slept....

24 hrs passed.... 

I woke up....

I packed up my stuff and left......

A bag of clothes and my computer and tv....

Remnants of 2024's self accomplishments. 

My heart sore. And broken.

I spent a whole month broke. No food. Type 2 diabetic....I wasn't HIV yet. I was healthy. I was eating at soup kitchens. Free to eat places. I was sleeping on families floors.

I felt like a dog... A pet... A family nuisance.  Heart broken and lost.... No one knew my pain. Nobody knew how I hurt I was. Because I hid it 

I feel deeper into meth addiction. Two months passed it is now February the end of the month. I quit meth around the last week of February. I stopped having sex around the same. 

I got HIV around that same time frame...because I was hanging out alot of people in that two months. 

A few months passed. I started to feel sick I was sober. It was now may.... Meth had been out of my system....and had one bad slip with crack laced with fentanyl giving to me by my uncle's. 

But I went for a std test. I thought it was just an std.... I haven't had sex for months...

For me meth and sex go hand in hand but I hadn't had sex in a while. 

May 5th 2025. I went for an std HIV test.... 

May 8th 2025..... I found I am now HIV.

My whole life changed in that one day. I wasn't only heart broken And homeless... I was now HIV positive battling homelessness along being type 2 diabetic...

More bad things started to happen.

My uncle's started to gang up on me....

Addiction started to get deep around 

I kept away I now devoted my life to staying sober from the diagnosis....

Then they kicked me out after I used my settlement money on them... They kicked me to the streets knowing they took my water settlement money. My clothes. My electronics. 

Again ....  Screwed over by family. Screwed over by my own flesh and blood....

Screwed over by the ones who raised me.

Screwed over by the ones who claimed to be righteous and honest. 

Screwed over by the ones who said they would be there for ever....

Thanks to God who saved me from uncertainty 

Thanks  to God in creating the humans who had the idea to make homeless shelters. 

Thanks  to God for this new life and new chance.

Thanks  to God for helping me fight my illnesses alone. 

Thanks to God for helping me get clothes.

Thanks to God for sheltering me.

Thanks to God for protecting me from harmful people who hate me and others for having HIV and type 2 diabetes.

Thanks to God for always teaching me knew ways to forgive others and to forgive myself for my transgression

Thanks to God for my sobriety.

Thanks to God for the new support in my life.

Thanks to God for being there when no one wasn't. 

Thanks God.