trust god/creator, clean house and help others

 you know, I thought about my illnesses lately these past few days.

three and a half years ago I caught type 2 diabetes. my whole world was shaken by it. I had to learn on my own to change the way I ate. I had to cut out alot. I had to adapt to all the diabetic medications I am taking. I watched how that disease destroyed my body within, took away my strength. and changed the way I looked at myself when I looked in the mirror. 3 years later after falling back into darkness, chaos, destruction; I survived another spiritual battle within myself internally and externally. I gave in to my dark desires, addiction to drugs, addiction to sex and addiction to chaos and destruction. I fell back into destruction and chaos and that darkness. while living like that I always keep that light and fire burning inside of me. I kept it lit. I kept it burning. I kept it determined to perserve and stood resilient against what ever came to take me I was ready to accept my fate, my doom and yes, my end.

may 8, 2025; my whole world was shaking; my mind and my body was brought down with news; I am now HIV. I faced that news alone. I took care of that news and revelation alone. I did not cry. I accepted my diagnosis. I accepted my lesson. I accepted what I needed to do from that day on. I stayed strong. I stayed committed. I stayed devoted. I did not blame; I wanted to. but it was only me what I had to accept now. I had to close the door on a few internal struggles. 5 mins after I walked out of my dr's office. I went to the gym. I exhausted all my grief, all my negative energy that day. all my burden's were taking by my faith and commitment to stay connected with god/creator and to recognize my ancestor's are his angels. and that he will be guiding me in life and keep me safe and protected.

I made alot of changes since the news. I openly shared with the world of my diagnosis's, I am not a coward even if I walk alone.

I am not afraid of anything anymore. even if I have to stand alone.

I am not afraid to share my faith in god/creator spiritually and religiously. because I am going to stay committed and devoted.

I got to thank all my friends accross the city who came to me the last week who arent present on the streets and accross the country of canada in all provinces.

in that time frame I cut out anyone who lives a lifestyle of harming people. I cut out people who was keeping tabs on me for enemies who want to see me fail.

trust me when I say, I have already forgiven my enemies. I have already forgivng the gossiper's, the haters, and the foes.

trust me when I say; I am not what they say about me for god/creator and the ancestor's(angels) of these lands will defend me and speak up for me.

for my last few words of tonight; I want to say for anyone who is facing turmoil, misery, suffering; and you feel alone. you are not alone. trust me the unknown is watching. the ancestors(angels) are doing wonders for you in many ways.

I know addiction isnt easy.

I know being homeless isn't easy.

I know losing a job is hard.

I know living on EIA or disability aka a fixed income is hard.

I know going to treatment might seem impossible is hard.

I know doing jail time is hard.

I know not having money is hard.

I know what living with chronic illnesses is hard.

I know trusting god, creator is hard.

I know walking away from the life of crime is hard.

I know living at salvation army is hard.

I know what its like be to in the hospital is hard.

you are not alone, trust me when I say that. I know so many life lessons and teaching that are hard to understand.

just trust me when I say.

trust god

clean house

help others

have a good night